Eastchester Blue Devils
Anti-Bullying Policy
Objectives of this policy
We are committed to providing a caring, friendly and safe environment for all our members so they can participate in football in a relaxed and secure atmosphere. As an organization we take bullying very seriously. Players and parents should be assured that they would be supported when bullying is reported. If bullying does occur, all our members or parents should be able to tell and know that incidents will be dealt with promptly and effectively. Bullying of any kind will not be tolerated.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.
In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:
An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.
Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.
Types of Bullying
Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes: Teasing, Name-calling, Inappropriate sexual comments, Taunting or Threatening to cause harm.
Social bullying involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes: Leaving someone out on purpose, Telling other children not to be friends with someone, Spreading rumors about someone or Embarrassing someone in public.
Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes: Hitting/kicking/pinching, Spitting, Tripping/pushing, Taking or breaking someone’s things or Making mean or rude hand gestures
Dealing with the Situation
When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Research shows this can stop bullying behavior over time. There are simple steps adults can take to stop bullying on the spot and keep kids safe.
Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help.
Separate the kids involved.
Make sure everyone is safe.
Stay calm. Reassure the kids involved, including bystanders.
Model respectful behavior when you intervene.
Avoid these common mistakes:
Don’t ignore it. Don’t think kids can work it out without adult help.
Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.
Don’t force other kids to say publicly what they saw.
Don’t question the children involved in front of other kids.
Don’t talk to the kids involved together, only separately.
Don’t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot.
Procedure
Whether you’ve just stopped bullying on the spot or a child has reached out to you for help, follow the steps below to determine the best way to proceed.
1.) Get the Facts
Keep all the involved children separate.
Get the story from several sources, both adults and kids.
Listen without blaming.
Don’t call the act “bullying” while you are trying to understand what happened.
It may be difficult to get the whole story, especially if multiple students are involved or the bullying involves social bullying or cyberbullying. Collect all available information.
2.) Determine if it's Bullying
To determine if this is bullying or something else, consider the following questions:
What is the history between the kids involved? Have there been past conflicts?
Is there a power imbalance? Remember that a power imbalance is not limited to physical strength. It is sometimes not easily recognized. If the targeted child feels like there is a power imbalance, there probably is.
Has this happened before? Is the child worried it will happen again?
Have the kids dated? There are special responses for teen dating violence.
Are any of the kids involved with a gang? Gang violence has different interventions.
Remember that it may not matter “who started it.” Some kids who are bullied may be seen as annoying or provoking, but this does not excuse the bullying behavior. Once you have determined if the situation is bullying, support the kids involved.
3.) Supporting the Kids Involved
Listen and focus on the child. Learn what’s been going on and show you want to help.
Assure the child that bullying is not their fault.
Know that kids who are bullied may struggle with talking about it.
Give advice about what to do. This may involve role-playing and thinking through how the child might react if the bullying occurs again.
Work together to resolve the situation and protect the bullied child. The child, parents, and organization may all have valuable input. It may help to:
Be persistent. Bullying may not end overnight. Commit to making it stop and consistently support the bullied child.
Avoid these mistakes:
Never tell the child to ignore the bullying.
Do not blame the child for being bullied. Even if he or she provoked the bullying, no one deserves to be bullied.
Do not tell the child to physically fight back against the kid who is bullying. It could get the child hurt.
Parents should resist the urge to contact the other parents involved. It may make matters worse.The organization can act as mediators between parents.
Follow-up. Show a commitment to making bullying stop. Because bullying is behavior that repeats or has the potential to be repeated, it takes consistent effort to ensure that it stops.
4.) Address Bullying Behavior
Make sure the child knows what the problem behavior is. Young people who bully must learn their behavior is wrong and harms others.
Show kids that bullying is taken seriously. Calmly tell the child that bullying will not be tolerated. Model respectful behavior when addressing the problem.
Work with the child to understand some of the reasons he or she bullied. For example: Sometimes children bully to fit in.
Other times kids act out because something else—issues at home, abuse, stress—is going on in their lives. They also may have been bullied. These kids may be in need of additional support, such as mental health services.
Use consequences to teach. Consequences that involve learning or building empathy can help prevent future bullying. Coaches should remember to follow the guidelines in their student code of conduct and other policies in developing consequences and assigning discipline.
Involve the kid who bullied in making amends or repairing the situation. The goal is to help them see how their actions affect others. For example, the child can:
Write a letter apologizing to the student who was bullied.
Do a good deed for the person who was bullied or for others in your community.
Clean up, repair, or pay for any property they damaged.
Avoid strategies that don’t work or have negative consequences.
Zero tolerance or “three strikes, you’re out” strategies don’t work. Suspending or expelling students who bully does not reduce bullying behavior. Students and teachers may be less likely to report and address bullying if suspension or expulsion is the consequence.
Conflict resolution and peer mediation don’t work for bullying. Bullying is not a conflict between people of equal power who share equal blame. Facing those who have bullied may further upset kids who have been bullied.
Group treatment for students who bully doesn’t work. Group members tend to reinforce bullying behavior in each other.
Follow-up. After the bullying issue is resolved, continue finding ways to help the child who bullied to understand how what they do affects other people. For example, praise acts of kindness or talk about what it means to be a good friend.
Resources
https://www.stopbullying.gov/
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/
http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/kab/
http://stompoutbullying.org/